Once again, I know, I know…not a writing post. Just something that might be helpful to anyone who finds out they are pregnant with twins and feels that they have REACHED THE END OF THE INTERNET looking for any tidbit of information on what they’re about to go through.
That was me, in any case. There were never enough articles or blog posts to satisfy me. And, if this is your situation, there will probably never be enough to satisfy you. Unless you are more sensible than I, which I hope you are. It can become an obsession. And, beyond a certain point, I don’t know how much reading all those articles and blogs helped so much as soothed. A coping mechanism for entering into a daunting and unfamiliar task.
First Trimester/Finding Out
I had three kids already and we were planning for a fourth. Strangely I took several pregnancy tests and didn’t feel very confident that I was pregnant, and you’d think that with twins I’d be feeling all the symptoms more strongly. At first, I truly did not. Even after a positive test, it seemed no different than any of my other pregnancies.
I should clarify–and please do not hate me for it–I have what most would consider to be relatively ‘easy’ pregnancies. I say ‘relatively’ because pregnancy is not inherently easy. But with my first two I had little to no morning sickness, just terrible fatigue, and with my third I had morning sickness for only a few weeks, and then everything was straightforward thereafter. As for any other complications, there were none. My first son was born at home, and the next two were born at a birth center, and I was pretty much able to do my own thing throughout each pregnancy, and through delivery, without much poking in prodding. I am extremely grateful for this. Just know that this was the rubric I had for understanding pregnancy thus far.
I didn’t make an appointment right away because we were about to go on Christmas vacation..figured I’d make one when we got back. I ended up sick with the flu over most of Christmas and as the flu waned, my pregnancy symptoms waxed. I had morning sickness this time. Not necessarily more severe (just nausea and fatigue) but simply more persistent.
At 10-ish weeks, I finally had my first appointment and really didn’t think anything of it. I mentioned some cramping I’d had (which resolved with no bleeding or other concerning signs) and the midwife decided to do an ultrasound, just to check. I thought that was kind of cool, since I’d never had an early ultrasound, just the standard 20 week anomaly scan they do for every pregnancy.
Instantly it was clear there were two babies. I laughed my head off in pure astonishment for the rest of the appointment. I managed to breathe out “but both heartbeats are good?” and then went on shaking with slightly manic laughter. One often jokes about having twins without ever expecting it to happen, and I had always ended the joke by saying finally, “no, sounds way too hard.” (I was definitely not wrong).
I cried a little on the drive home (again, not sadness, just shock) and didn’t try to get too fancy in how I told my husband the news. I handed him the ultrasound photo and said “they did an ultrasound and…look!” We then called everybody in the family right away, even my sister who was living in Calcutta for whom it was like 4 a.m. I’ve gotta be honest. Telling everyone that we were having twins was an absolute blast. It felt like telling everyone I’d found the wardrobe to Narnia or something. Just a bit mythical, hard to believe, and kind of terrifying/awesome.
But how did I feel? Well fatigue for sure, and I had three other kids to take care of. I was near-tears tired a lot. I took a lot of notes in my calendar book and they read “so, so tired” and “slept well, yet still tired.”
There was anxiety as well. To refer to my notes: “anxious worries about labor–c-section, stillbirth, doctors who are uncomfortable delivering twins, NICU.” I’ve had little bouts of anxiety with all my pregnancies, but there was a lot more to worry about this go round. Literally twice as much to worry about.
Nausea came and went over the weeks, and I had one particular week (week 15) where I thought I was done with all that first trimester stuff but it came back like a hammer and I felt awful. So, while I would still say I had it easy compared to a LOT of twin moms, it was by far the roughest I’ve personally had it, since I had first trimester symptoms lingering beyond the actual first trimester.
And I’m going to be honest, that’s kind of the tough thing about twin pregnancy. First trimester is “longer” and the third trimester comes “sooner.” The golden second trimester that’s is usually deemed the easiest for singleton pregnancies? Doesn’t really exist in a twin pregnancy. You roll almost directly from first trimester fatigue and nausea into third trimester aches and size.
Second Trimester:
I started to feel more or less “third trimester huge” between 20 and 23 weeks. At 20 weeks I had the anomaly scan and found out that I was having…a girl and a boy!!! I was so relieved because I was worried that they would be identical and I would mix them up (I’ve heard this is a ridiculous worry). Everything looked good, except they did see what is called “Choroid Plexus Cysts” which is usually nothing, but can be a soft marker for Trisomy 18.
Children with Trisomy 18 often do not live to be born, and live very short lives outside if they make it to birth. We usually do not get prenatal testing because we already know it would not change anything for us. We would care for and love any child as long as we possibly can. But even though it was only a soft marker, it was still nerve-wracking, so we got the test just so that–if it was Trisomy 18–we could prepare ourselves for that. I had a week or so where I faced and tried to process that possibility–of losing my first and only girl–but then the tests all came back low-risk. By week 28, the choroid plexus cysts had cleared up, as they usually do. I was so relieved, but my heart still aches because I know many parents have found themselves in that position and did not get the answer they hoped for.
Aside from this otherwise common finding, and relief-giving resolution, my second trimester was uneventful. But it was not easy. With three boys–a five year old, a three year old and a one year old–I was just about sobbing with exhaustion and aches. The silver lining of COVID was that my husband had to (got to) work from home. He was still very busy, but the ability to have him help with certain tasks that were physically arduous for me, the lack of drive time to work, and even those five or ten minute breaks where he would come out and wrestle with the boys–all that was sooooo helpful.
The physical exhaustion of this pregnancy was something else, partially because it lasted so long. I basically looked and felt like I was “due any day now” for months. Anytime I made the mistake of carrying my now-two-year-old up or down the stairs (he loves to be carried still) my body made me regret it.
But thankfully I and the babies continued to remain healthy. We were scheduled to move states when I would be 31 weeks pregnant, which meant transferring care. I was very nervous about it because I had been receiving civilian care under a midwife and was moving to military care. Military care can be…well it can be just about anything. Luckily my care at our military hospital was fantastic.
Throughout the second trimester I continued to get ultrasounds at nearly every appointment, followed by an additional growth scan at 28 weeks. Everything looked pretty good, although my baby A (the one closest to the cervix) was not in a head-down (vertex) position. In fact, they were breech/breech at that point, which was very disconcerting. Some doctors don’t like to deliver twins vaginally if both aren’t vertex, but it’s a solid no-go if Baby A is breech. During the weeks of our move, and of transferring care, I just kept hoping and praying “Turn, girl. Turn! Go vertex!”
I didn’t take many notes between weeks 25 and 32 because of the aforementioned move. I also had to wait 2 weeks after our move to go to my first appointment because of hospital quarantine requirements. It made me a little nervous to go that long without checking on the babies (but they were fine).
Third Trimester:
This was a rough time, but thanks to family (parents and siblings) it was comparatively smooth sailing. Everyone helped with packing and unpacking and with my three boys and I am so, so grateful. Doing most anything at this point was rough. Going on a walk. Going up and down stairs. Getting in and out of bed. Carrying my 2 year old. I was uncomfortable and exhausted most of the time.
I finally had my next appointment at 33 weeks. BP was a wee bit high, but not enough for concern, and the crucial takeaway from this long-awaited appointment? My little Baby A was finally vertex! Baby B was transverse. With three uncomplicated vaginal deliveries under my belt, I was repeatedly told I was a perfect candidate to go ahead with vaginal delivery for the twins. This was such a relief.
From here on out I had an appointment every week of some kind or another. A growth scan at 33.5 weeks, and regular appointments on top of weekly “fetal well-being checks” where they monitor movement, amniotic fluid levels, and practice breathing. My notes start to turn hard back into “so, so tired” territory. “Feeling tired and emotional and overwhelmed” was the note on week 34. Followed by “a bad night last night. Pain/cramping/Braxton Hicks…I was a little scared I was going into labor and I prayed and prayed. I’ve never [before] felt something akin to labor and thought ‘no! I’m not ready.’ I’m terrified of the possibility of NICU. Terrified of being separated from them. I’m scared for my kids being separated from me.” Since I’d never had a hospital birth, I’d always had my older kids with me when the next one was born. But because of COVID, not even my mom or my sisters would be able to come with me.
I looked forward to all my appointments just to have my mind eased that the babies were okay. I wrote down periods of active movement, not because there was any immediate cause for concern, but because I felt worried often. It did not help that I started to feel itchy all over every day, and when I googled the symptom, something called Cholestasis came up, a temporary liver condition which increases risk of stillbirth. Just before 36 weeks I asked the doctors to test me for Cholestasis and once the results were in, at nearly 37 weeks, it turned out I DID have Cholestasis. The doctor told me we should induce the very next day (just one day shy of 37 weeks!).
The rest of my the birth I chronicled here, but sufficed to say I have a lot to be thankful for with an uncomplicated pregnancy and two healthy babies with no NICU time. Yes, by the end (and frankly for most of the middle) I was so, so tired of being pregnant, and doing basic tasks became arduous and even painful. It was decidedly harder than my singleton pregnancies. I have not discussed things like varicose veins (which I got) or new stretch marks (I had a bunch to begin with) because those are things that happen with most pregnancies, but they certainly happened MORE with this one. For the former, compression socks are often recommended, and for the latter…lotion, I guess, but there’s probably not much you can do. I, for one, have neither the time nor energy to be anything but amused at what my 5 year old son calls “the prunies on your belly.”
So, it was tough. And I had it “easy” in a comparative sense. Not to be discouraging, but just to be honest and realistic. But hey, with some endurance and, especially towards the end, a lot of help from family, I got through it.
J. L. Odom 